Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Step by Step, Day by Day


A year ago I was getting ready to graduate from college and I was very busy trying to rationalize my way out of moving to Chicago for graduate school. The thought of being so far away from anyone I knew, of being without my car, of not knowing if it was the right choice for me... the thought of being completely on my own, without a lifeline nearby was terrifying.

As it turns out, this past year was super easy!

Just kidding, it was actually really freaking tough, for a number of reasons. Big reasons, each following after the other without very much time in between. But instead of listing all of the obstacles I've encountered and focusing on the negative, I think I'll take a different route. I mean, after all, I've already experienced each thing once, so there is no point in experiencing it here again.

Instead, I want to focus on what I've learned about myself from these experiences. I want to focus on the growth and positivity that can come from some of the most difficult challenges life can throw at a person. Here is what I've learned:

1. I am not as brave and independent as I thought I was-- and I'm sort of okay with that. I used to think that depending on others made me weaker or less capable of being myself. But now I realize that in certain ways, I can't be myself if I'm alone. There are parts of my personality and happiness that come alive through my relationships with other people, and if I'm trying to navigate life alone, I'm navigating without a part of myself.

2. I live my life day by day-- literally. I can't survive without a calendar. This year has been full of classes and travel and appointments and meetings, and it's also been full of a lot of life planning. There was one point this year that I was freaking out about a situation I won't face until 5 years from now, and Eric asked me if maybe I could tone it down and only plan 2 years in advance. I've learned that I can deal with 2 years of planning, I don't need 5. I've learned how to go from planning the next 5 years to dreaming and wondering about the next 5 years. And what's cool about this, is that now I'm not locking myself into my future; instead, I'm leaving my future open and I still know what I want. And when something changes, I'm not destined to have an anxiety attack.

3. I want a home life. I want a career and I want to be a professional woman with a nice salary, but I really want a home life. In the last year I have started feeling the tugging on my heartstrings for a home and a garden and a dog and some kids at some point. I have learned that I'm ready to have a real marriage and I'm ready to do what is necessary to make a marriage work. I want to start building a life with another person and see where that adventure takes us.

4. I am a good cook. This year I've been working hard to save money and that has meant cooking at home; I love cooking. There is something about creating something delicious that just warms my soul. I love coming up with new dishes and sharing them with others. I love making Eric's favorite meal when he comes home after a long trip and seeing him relax after the first bite. I love making dinner for my family in Dallas and seeing my mom enjoy having someone else do the work and clean up. I love being able to forget about whatever is bothering me while I slice and simmer, and I come out of the kitchen feeling refreshed, after accomplishing something.

5. I have learned that I still have a lot of growing to do. Looking back to last year, I can already see how much I have grown and changed both personally and professionally. Every time I think I have it figured out, I learn something new. I can now see that I will always have something to learn, something to change, and I look forward to finding out what those things are throughout the course of my life.

No comments:

Post a Comment