Bright and Shiny

Lately I have not been feeling very "up". It's been an extremely difficult year and I've been focusing on just getting through. There have been times when I've seriously considered running away to Canada and starting a new life as a mountie.

But a couple of weeks ago I was walking to campus and the sun was shining, it was warm, and I suddenly felt it all disappear. Everything that had been weighing me down, everything that had been scaring me, everything that I had been dreading... suddenly it all seemed smaller. And I took a few more steps, took a deep breath, and I realized that I was going to be okay. It was such a relief and I almost started crying, just from the sheer emotion of being able to let go like that.

When I got back to my apartment I took a good look around and I decided that maybe the bright and shiny outdoors was helping me be brighter and shinier inside my own mind. And I realized that my 375 sq. ft. apartment was kind of... drab.

Don't get me wrong, I've got furniture and some new crisp sheets that my parents got me when I moved in, but a lot of my stuff is black and red, or just darker overall. So I decided to make a change.

I looked around and found the stuff which was the most worn-down and in need of replacing. The bathroom. I had some cheap red $4 towels from Wal-mart, a kaleidoscope clear shower curtain and red rugs, with some gray towels I added later for "variety". These were the first things I had every chosen for myself and at the time, red fit in really well where I was living. But it was time for something a little brighter, with more color and variety and cushi-ness. After a lot of thought and deliberation, and some help from Eric, here is what I landed on:

This curtain is from Bed Bath and Beyond; I found it on sale! As you can see it's ruffly and soft, and has a lot of color and variation.

 These rugs are from Target. I got the lid cover, the contoured rug and the large rug. And THEY were on sale. I decided on these darker rugs, which don't technically "match" the curtain, to balance out the girliness of the curtain, since this is Eric's place, too. We figured it would help to balance the ruffles with something darker, but still colorful and luscious, so that it doesn't just look like a girl's bathroom.

Lastly, this is the color I'm aiming for when I find room on my budget for new towels. A minty green that goes well with the curtain will keep the bathroom bright and clean. Until I can pick some up, I'll be using the gray ones. They're not really a perfect fit with the new stuff but they'll do for now.

Anyway, I have really enjoyed the change, I've really enjoyed the colors, and I know it's usually seen as shallow, but in this case a little material indulgence has helped to produce a little genuine happiness.

How I Lost 13 Pounds In A Year-- Day 5

Today's Change: Get Serious

Once I had made all my previous changes, going from my late-night pizza to cooking at home regularly, I noticed that all my clothes were already fitting better. But I wanted to keep going. I still had pounds to lose! So the next step was to start tweaking my recipes by swapping out some ingredients for healthier alternatives.

I started using whole-grain pasta instead of regular. I started including items like broccoli and mushrooms into my recipes to fill them out for no nutritional cost and stretch my dish further. I started buying fresh fruit in larger quantities to include with my breakfasts and lunches, and low-fat yogurt to replace my salty afternoon snacks. I quit buying chips except for tortilla chips to go with mexican-food dinners and snacks like pico de gallo, and when I absolutely had to have something crunchy with my lunches, I'd have a serving size of reduced fat Ritz crackers.

I started adding things “invisibly” to my meals as well, ingredients I'd never really had a history of liking on their own. I began sneaking in chopped onions here and there. I mashed up squash and tucked it into my homemade macaroni and cheese. Once I started including a few little things here and there, the transition was seamless. Now I eagerly throw in extra vegetables to almost everything I make!

You try it: how can you improve your recipes? Switching to whole grains? Are there any ways you can hide otherwise unwanted vegetables? By finding ways to fill yourself with fruits and vegetables, you not only satisfy your hunger for fewer calories but you rid your body of extra salts and fats, which makes it easier to resist salts and fats at the next meal. Start small: add extras of the fruits and vegetables you like, then start branching out. Once you start, you won't even view your vegetables as an accomplishment, you'll just view them as a regular part of your diet. And THAT is a lifestyle change!

How I Lost 13 Pounds In A Year-- Day 4

Today's Change: Channeling Martha Stewart-- Cooking at Home

Once I stopped eating pizza and gave up many fast food meals, I realized that I needed to replace those processed meals with homemade ones. So I started looking for simple recipes online, in magazines, and in cookbooks. I even started trying out the recipes on the sides of soup cans-- I was open to anything that was delicious. My grocery list regularly consisted of ingredients from the Campbell's soup line, French's items, and meal stretchers such as Hamburger Helper. Now, I realize that it's not a glamorous list, but as this was my first time to really start cooking regularly I started small. Eventually my menus grew to include fish, lamb chops, roasted pork, and homemade baked breakfast items. Now, a year later, a regular dinner might be homemade chicken pot pie, or roasted salmon. Obviously, it doesn't matter where you start, as long as you do start. Everyone's tastes are different-- cook to yours. Try to create homemade versions of your favorite processed foods so that it's easier to live without them. Try to recreate some of your favorite family recipes. Be ambitious: there are plenty of recipes online for free, and plenty of old cookbooks at secondhand bookstores.

Start by creating your menu for the week: include breakfasts, lunches and dinners. If you plan to eat out for one of those meals, write it down. By accounting for everything up front, you'll have a clear idea of what your diet really looks like. Once it's written, create your shopping list and get started! To make it even more fun, share your recipes by inviting friends or family over to eat with you. Not only will you be forced to stick to your menu plans, but you'll get to share your progress with the people in your life and spend time relaxing and having fun.

How I Lost 13 Pounds In A Year-- Day 3

Today's Change: No more fast food! Except for ONE

This was probably the most difficult change I made. I had given up pizzas but I found that I had cravings in the middle of the day or right after I got off work for something just as flavorful and unhealthy. I usually picked up a fast-food meal about 3 times a week. Sometimes it was fried chicken, sometimes it was burritos, rarely it was a sandwich. I found that my budget could not really support this habit, neither could my waistline. It wasn't so much that I was gaining weight from the fast food, it was that it left me feeling bloated, and it only perpetuated the vicious circle of cravings. The more I allowed myself to have a fast-food meal, the more I craved salty, greasy, fast-food like meals.

So I decided to make a change. I began limiting myself to ONE fast-food meal a week, with the aim to make it as healthy as I could manage. If I was having a really bad week, then I would let myself pick up something greasy. But usually I made a habit of choosing something with veggies. Doing one meal a week was very hard at first. Once I got a craving I would mentally wrestle with myself, trying to figure out if I really wanted to use up my one meal for that week. I usually made it past the first craving and gave in to it the next time. And it was usually Chipotle. After about a month I got used to only going once a week, and it really was not that difficult anymore. Plus I started subbing my burrito tortilla for a burrito bowl with extra pico de gallo and less cheese. Little swaps helped me to feel like I was making progress, and even if it was only 10 calories that I was saving, those 10 calories were MINE!

So. How many calories can you save? Are you picking up fast food every week, or do you drop in to Starbucks regularly for a latte? How about trying to just go once a week, and trading that latte in for a fat-free version, or even just a regular coffee? Remember: it doesn't have to be drastic. You don't have to cut things out of your life completely-- that doesn't work when you're changing your lifestyle, and if it does it's usually very painful. Instead of cutting things out, try to be creative. Can you find ways to save yourself 10 calories there, 15 here? Those are yours! They're little victories, and you get to celebrate them!

How I Lost 13 Pounds In A Year-- Day 2

Today I continue with my next major change that helped me re-vamp my diet and thus, my waistline.

Today's Change: No more late-night pizza!

I had developed a very bad habit of staying up late with Eric and ordering Papa John's when we got cravings for junk food. It got to the point where we ate pizza about once a week, either for dinner or late at night. With both of our jobs bringing us home around 7 each night, we weren't eating until 8 or later and pizza was a very easy fall-back. However, we knew it was starting to really get to us, so we set a goal: no pizza whatsoever for a month. After a month and a half, we realized that we had easily reached our goal, and now we order pizza maybe once every two months. Instead of pepperoni and cheesy bread, we try to order margherita or BBQ chicken with no additional bread. This way we get plenty of flavor and not as much grease.

We also started making pizzas at home using Pillsbury dough. It was much cheaper and healthier, with much less grease. And it was fun-- we would make a delicious salad and have some wine and turn our pizza nights from late-night junk nights into fun date nights!

See if you can do it: Give up pizza (or whatever your major food crux is) for a month and see what you feel like. Do you still need it? Can you satisfy your craving in another creative, healthier way?

How I Lost 13 Pounds In A Year-- The Series

*Aside from extremely sporadic bits of exercise here and there, my weight came off simply from changing the way I eat. Hence, this is not an exercise post. I hate exercise. You have to like... move and stuff...*

I used to have metabolism that was faster than a horse that just saw glue-- I could eat roughly 2500 calories a day and not gain a thing. My after-school snack was usually an entire can of spaghettios and my dessert was a bowl of cereal. This absolutely wonderful blessing of eating without consequence continued until my sophomore year of college when I noticed that my jeans started to fit a little tighter. By my senior year I had gone up a size. Finally at a doctor's appointment I realized that I'd gained no height whatsoever as well as 15 pounds.

It was a shock. I never weighed myself regularly and the last weight I'd seen was from my high school days when I weighed 135 and fit into size 3 junior's jeans! Those were also the days when I went up stairs regularly, hauled heavy books, and played sports during lunch period. So I'm guessing some of those pounds were associated with muscles.

Anyway, I realized I had to make some serious changes to my lifestyle. If I wanted to lose the weight and keep it off, I was going to have to make permanent changes that would last, not temporary ones that would cause the pounds to shed and then creep back up. I'm not a fan of exercise, unless it involves playing a sport. I don't like going to the gym, I hate sweating for no immediate gratification (such as hitting a double or getting a point in a volleyball game) so I wanted to start out with changes in my diet.

I'll be posting a different change every day for 5 days. Keep in mind, these are all lifestyle changes, so start with one and then once you have that down, take up another. It's a very gradual weight-loss process so it may seem like nothing is changing at all-- but I promise, you'll feel better on the inside right away, and that will be enough to motivate you to keep at it until you feel better on the outside, too!

Today's Change: I stopped drinking soda. Completely.

Regular sodas are full of sugar, which is bad for your teeth and bad for your weight! So I stopped. I switched to drinking unsweetened tea with Splenda when I craved something other than water, and I only drank fruit juice once or twice a week. I kept soda completely out of my life for 6 months before I started adding an occasional diet soda with no sugar. Diet sodas aren't that great either, though, so I kept my sodas down to about 4 or 5 a week at the most. Even now there are times I will go a month without having a soda. I usually keep a pitcher of water, a gallon of milk, and a pitcher of sugar-free drink mix in the fridge so I have plenty of choices.

See if you can do it: Give up sodas and juices completely for 2 weeks. If you have extras in your fridge or pantry, set them aside for guests. Limit yourself to water, teas, even smoothies. When the 2 weeks is up, try to limit yourself to adding only a few glasses of fruit juice every week. Keep in mind, juice has a lot of sugar, too. You can supplement your beverage flavors with some of the many sugar-free powder drink mixes in the grocery store.

It's Hot Up In This Kitch

I have gotten really good at cooking dinner with very little, on little money. This is partially because I have a limited budget and therefore I'm forced to be inventive, and partially because of the inevitable challenge that arises when the groceries start to run low. The most challenging part is finding something healthy and delicious from whatever is left in the freezer. I usually keep a couple of bags of frozen broccoli on hand, as well as frozen carrots, mushrooms, zucchini-- whatever I think will come in handy. I'll post freezing directions at the bottom of the post.

This is my latest concoction: Chicken and Noodles with Mushroom Sauce

You'll need

2 chicken breasts

whatever seasoning you like

¼ cup chopped white onions

1 clove garlic, smashed

2 Tbsp olive oil

2 cups egg noodles

1 cup mushrooms, sliced

1 can Cream of Mushroom

1 Tbsp honey

First start the water for the noodles on medium-high. While the water heats up, season your chicken and place in a skillet with 1 tbsp olive oil over medium heat.

In a small saucepan, drizzle 1 tbsp olive oil and start to saute the onion and garlic. You want them to get nice and golden.

Cook the noodles as directed and keep an eye on the chicken, turning over to make sure you don't burn it (like I did-- oops). When the noodles are done, drain and drizzle with a little olive oil to keep from sticking. 

When your onions are nice and golden, add the sliced mushrooms and cook until soft. 

Add the Cream of Mushroom soup and the honey, and stir well to combine. Set the heat to low and stir often to keep the sauce from sticking to the pan.

When the chicken is done, shred it and place it in the same pot as the cooked noodles. When your sauce is nice and thick (it will be a little darker from the onion glaze) pour it in with the noodles and chicken, too. Stir everything up and enjoy!

For frozen carrots and frozen mushrooms:

Chop or slice the carrots and place individual pieces on a plate and place in the freezer. Once the pieces are frozen, place in freezer bags and label with the date. Use within 3 months. When you need to use the pieces, let them thaw for about 30 minutes before cooking.

For frozen zucchini:

Slice or shred as needed and place into freezer bags. NOTE: Frozen zucchini works well in soups and baked dishes, but it's not quite as impressive sauteed.

Small, Dark and Handsome

It was a dark and stormy night—literally—in 1995 when I found myself in a car with my mother, headed to the SPCA. I was wearing my favorite dress, a pink and white tie-dye cotton dress. I wore that dress every chance I got. We braved the weather that night because there was a kitten waiting for me, a solid black male kitten who was old enough for me to take home. I was 6 years old, so my memory is a little foggy on details, but I remember sitting in the back seat next to one of those cardboard crates they use for adoptions, and he wouldn't stop meowing! It was thundering a lot but I couldn't pay attention because inside that little cardboard crate was someone who would change my life.

When we got home, the dogs (who were not much shorter than I was) were eager to sniff the box. Our other cat, Gypsy, was disinterested. She probably knew that this new kitten would be a daily annoyance to her well-established turf. My mom and I carried the crate back to her bathroom, where we opened it up so that Bentley could see his first glimpses of his new home.

He was so tiny! I remember sitting there in the small bathroom with the pale green tiles, terrified that he would claw my legs as he sat up on my lap. He was extremely curious. Right away we saw how interested he was in the shower, something that never changed. Even in his last days, he loved getting in the shower while it was running, and he, weirdly, loved to drink the water that gathered around the drain after it was turned off. Bentley also loved scooping the water out of the dogs' water bowls and playing with the water in the toilets. He was an absolute mess.

In a short time Annie was born and Bentley became her personal stylist. He loved to lick her head and he would swirl her hair up into the funniest little curly-cues. This was also the time when we discovered that any loose ribbons left out would be eaten by Bentley and appear later in the litter box. It was quite colorful...

I remember how every time we went on family trips he would love to climb into my suitcase while we were packing, and when we finally got home, he trotted to the door to meow loudly and demand we make up for all the attention he missed out on while we were gone.

He said good morning to me every day, and he laid with me for a few minutes every night before I went to sleep before he would leave and roam around the house in the dark during the night. In the early morning hours he would always find his way into my parents' room where he would snuggle with my mom, sometimes on her head.

Bentley never scratched or bit or hissed, unless he was playing with the other pets, or growling at the mailman. He only had love for us. He was the sweetest little cat anyone has ever known, and he was my first true love.

 

When my mom and I took him to the vet on Monday, March 5, 2012, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I also knew that it was the right thing for him. It would have been so easy to be selfish and keep him around longer for my benefit, but it would have caused him pain and shame and in the end, it would have caused more hurt than good for everyone. Being able to hold him close and tell him I love him, being able to let him feel loved and special every second of his life, was both the most painful thing and the greatest gift.

I'd always thought about his place in my life as a special place that no other animal or person can every occupy. But now I realize that it was my place in his life that was the greatest gift of all. I'll miss you forever, Bentley.